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The Most Pleasurable Fetish: Philophilia - Jay Horita

Jul. 20th, 2007

09:24 pm - The Most Pleasurable Fetish: Philophilia

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Warning: This note contains very sexually explicit material. Do not continue reading if you do not have the guts. :)

The world of sex is rich in different possibilites. From inane, commonplace interests as breast, penises, and feet. To the constructed worlds of leather, and sadomasochism. Most people usually will associate fetishes with an obsession for a physical entity -- even the dictionary defines them as being lusts for objects or "nongenital" parts of the body -- but one can easily argue that a fetish can be for something more intangible such as an idea. Such examples include guys who like to strip girls of their virginity, or homosexual guys who fantasize about having relations with straight men.

The lines become a lot more blurred in this realm of intangibility. The problem comes down to the tension between classification and peoples' resistance to being classified, especially when the classifications fall under subjects of taboo, or invoke images that we culturally were brought up to associate with the concept of fetishism. If we take a step back, however, what about sex can not be considered a fetish? If you lust for it enough and if that object or concept becomes the most central point of your sexual desire, then why should that not be considered a fetish?

There is a "common" fetish that exists that slip under a lot of people's noses, because of this whole hesitancy to classify it as a fetish. In fact, there is no current commonplace terminology, and to my knowledge, the concept has yet to be known as something sexual. But it is a fetish that can be very ultimately gratifying, because it is already strewn very tightly with sex as it is. However, not everybody appreciates it or needs to have it to have pleasurable sex.

There is a neologism that is closely tied to this idea which I will adapt, but I want to take it a lot further. This concept is of philophilia, the love of love itself -- not to be confused with nymphomania. I talk of "love" in the sense of the emotion rather than the action.

Philophilia, in my sense, is when one gets a sexual thrill just by the fact they feel an emotional connection with this person. They do not actually have to love the person, but they just have this ultimate sense of giving and selflessness. They feel that this person deserves to be the happiest person in the world, because they are nice, intelligent, etc. They feel they should provide for this person and do anything to make this person's life amazing. Great sex for them is when their partner looks like they are enjoying every minute. They don't even have to reach climax themselves; in fact, in most cases, they'd rather not because they want the moment to last forever. But they want their partner to climax at least, because that's their ultimate goal. They are getting off on the concept of love. It's love for love itself.

I say there is this feeling of selflessness, but essentially the sex is still very selfish. It is still ultimately about pleasing oneself, cause outside of the bedroom, they may not even care about their partner.

To think about it even further, there already are existing subcategories that fall under this category of philophilia. One good example is the concept of "pity fucking." Well, in some cases. If the motive is purely logical, then it wouldn't be (in which case, it wouldn't be a fetish since it's not sexually driving anybody). But if the motive is more for the reason that one feels their partner deserves to be treated well because normally they're treated badly, then that would fit under this concept of philophilia.

Instances of people with this fetish probably are very frequent; or might exist in most people at a certain level, but since sex is culturally wired in our minds to be a taboo subject, this culture has not constructed this concept of love for love. I think it's a great fetish, cause once I find the one who I do really love, sex will be eternally pleasurable. :)